purpose in life?

Sometimes i really wonder.. what's my purpose on this world? what's it? I used to thought that i am quite a "useful" person.. and yet.. pretty a "useless" one.. i can find no purpose at all..

used to think that yea.. its ok not having any boyfriend.. yea.. its ok not having any people to talk to when i have problems.. its ok that i dun confide in others.. cos i can handle all this.. i am strong..

on the other hand.. i always like to feel in such a way that nvm.. i have a great family.. i really love my sis.. my mum and my dad.. especially my sis.. who in this world doesn't know that i care for her and love her.. maybe the whole world knows but she doesn't...

i guessed that my sis had really changed to another person.. and it really break my heart.. jus like a spear piercing in real hard.. ah.. feel the pain deep.. inside..

looking around.. it seems like i am living in my own world.. alone.. doing things alone.. thinking about things alone.. which other being in this world actually understood me?

thats sad.. real sad.. living for twenty years.. and nothing is achieved..

everyone around me seems to be so satisfied in life.. at least certain portion of their life.. and for me.. the very last and deepest kinship and sistership is creeping away... had nv felt so sad before..

what had her friends and that church had done to her? my original sister will never ever return to my side.. how i wish i can be emotionless... dun pick my nose into the problems between my sis and mum.. maybe i wouldn't have felt this way.. it is always difficult to be sandwiched..

real sad.... like never before...