deep SHIT misery

I seriously understand the dao li of re you shuo shi ye you shuo meng. some of the things is the more you think of it, the more you will dream of it. I totally agreed that i am a dreamer. A dreamer of the impossible. A dreamer of the uncertainty. A dreamer of M.I.

I hate myself for being so logical in terms of what i am always feeling. Sometimes the ignorance of things may actually benefits mi the most. The "HECK CARE" attitude i should really master it well. Be it friends or wadever problems.. I believe I will be utmost happy to not think of them too often. WHY WHY WHY... why am i here to suffer? (am i suffering?) my life is full of ups and downs EVERYDAY. a minute of happiness may turn out to be sadness the other minute. whats can be more worst than saddness beats the feeling happy and contented.

As I mentioned earlier before, that it is always the case when human tend to remember and dwell on the unhappy part more than the happy part. Or at least i am. The past me will just keep on moving and dun give a damn about many certain things. But now, I had lost that talent! I dwell on things, think about them, making myself very unhappy. Thinking does harm rte, shit? haiz.. maybe no one can know better besides you. can i tell myself to forgo all feelings and remain myself? Am i capable enough to overlook that? I don't think so.. but will try...

I'm in deep shit..

Now: my mp3 had already did some recording for about 19 mins. Hope that it will not fail on me during the interview later on. And hope that i will not be killed by someone later. Realised that i've did something unintentionally to create much disturbance and unwanted conflict. Sorry.

As my day passes, I slowly dun understand what i am doing. I am heading no where. When i get out of a hole, I drop into another one. Problems keep surfacing. Then wads the point of getting out in da first place. Aiyo.. Maybe this is a challenge that god gave mi build mi character up, build my experience. But should i be thankful in da first place? thats most likely be determine only in the future.

BYE