hectic life in another way

Many things are happening durin these 3 hectic days.. hectic not becos of sde day work load.. but the emotional burden.. will not dwell on that here... maybe will write another journal in my private account. Things are saddening.. how can someone change that immediately? build-up? if its true, that means someones pretends to be close for quite some time.. nv thot of it before.. but anyway.. finally i cried... 2nd time since my uni life started... but this is as intense as the previous one.. without the help of alcoholic dreams some more... had been telling another fren abt it... felt a little more calm? maybe... for the next few hours... or maybe for the next few days until i see her again... until she makes mi feel bad again? feeling bad? i have asked myself damn many times why shd i? i know the reasons myself... she knows the reasons herself... or maybe she din stand in my shoe and look at things... she dunno wads happening in my life and onli see herself... she is too angry to even spot me.. i do not know what i shd do... not that i am desperate in askin for her forgiveness... but thinkin that she may have her wrongs too.. why am i suffering more by thinkin that i am having fault and she thinks that no fault lies with her... i knew that if ever she sees this message she might be even more angrier. But please think it true... think of the situation... if u were in my shoe... dun ever say u will NEVER do wad i do... lifes hectic for that few days...!