Post-birthday reflections

It's been nearly a week of a 21 year old girl. There is nothing much of a difference just the bugging thought of I do not want to be 21.

For one thing is, I hate to grow. Growing up seems to me as a painful process. With all the lost I've made, and the minimal things I gained, it just doesn't suffix. I hate losing the innocence in me. As a grown up, one should throw away all naive behaviours and look at everything in a whole different light. Good or bad it depends on individual's perception.

Growing up makes me lost all my freedom. I can no longer enjoy a care-free lifestyle as every steps I moved, the future of my family seems dependent on it. Growing up comes with many responsibilities. How I wished for just one time I am not the eldest kid in the family. All responsibilities falls on me. All blames fall upon me. Any one who needs support come to me. But in the first place, am I strong enough to hold everything?

I am sad to say that though I am not the oldest in the family, sometimes I felt that I am the more realistic, sensible, rational being in it. How many times have I wonder why some of the elders that I respect most, just fails to even set a good example to the young and expect us to be the best of the world. Hey come'on, in the very first place, be a good role model!!!!!!!

So, back to the original topic. Though I never fancy the idea of turning 21 before, I understand its an inevitable stage of life to be missed. As reality hits me from the back, telling me that," Peiying, its time to really prepared yourself and fight the world of uncertainties.", I have to learn how to be more independent and capable. Thinking that friends around me may be so much more fortunate than me at certain times, I thought of how fortunate I am to be born in Singapore. Haha.. We can't just compare lifes like these. As each individual has the potential to create a great future for themselves.

The opportunities that lie ahead of this 21 year old ger seems bleak at the moment. But its going to be even more clearer as the day passes, I hope.

Never to give up.

*My destiny awaits me*