no one knows how life would turn out to be. u may be happy at 1200 but 1201 u might not.. this is funny.. how can that be? when we are happy, very happy.. right at the next moment u will start thinkin, oh gosh.. what if things are like that? Maybe that the disadvantage of being a human. (think too much). God gave mi a pessimistic heart. that is really something i dun want. As on my wishlist.. i wanted to be happy.. i knew myself very well.. i can be totally happy for a moment but when the moment had passed, i will start thinking of something else.. it may be something happy.. or it may not.. that depends... slowly.. being happy seems to be a chore.. i want to change.. and i can..
someone once told mi.. there is at least something that is worth being happy about that happens in a day. however, there is almost always another thing that will happen in the same day that will make u sad or unhappy about. Being a normal human, we will dwell more on the unhappy one and forgot totally about the happy one. it doesn't matter which comes first. Cos like i had said earlier.. even if u are happy.. later on, u will think otherwise.. sadist huh..
i believe i am quite a cheerful person in the past. everyone said so. but now.. it seems like i am always thinkin too much.. analysin this and that.. ponderin this over that.. that isn't the way to work things out.. but.. i sometimes will intentionally tries to force a smile out.. that sort of scares mi.. its pretty unhealthy.. but i seriously couldn't help it.. where did the cheerful side of mi go? are u willing to come back and find mi? the carefree peiying can onli be found in primary school ba... not anymore now.. wad about the future?
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